Thursday, December 22, 2011

Christmas Vacation

You remember this movie right...Chevy Chase & Christmas Vacation.  I have been thinking a lot about  the emotions that surround the holidays.  This movie certainly portrays them all:
  • as much as you want family to visit (and stay) you also want time with just your spouse and kids
  • as much as we all have a Cousin Eddy to provide comic relief, there is also truth and even sadness that is hiding within the jokes and happy outlook
  • out of the mouths of babes come the most detailed observations of what is really happening in a family
  • that there is always so much to do to get ready and the the turkey  - it's over.
  • there is resilience - no matter what, we go back for more
  • there is the wish to give the best Christmas ever, including the best Christmas gift - face it, you cannot give a pool every year.
So now we are faced with the last one....guilt. ....and I am not talking about food. I am in a space in life where everything seems to collide instead of connect. Not what I am used to. I am usually the middle person ( and being a middle child this makes sense) and I can find my way while focusing on the rest of the season, when I get to this time of year, emotions see, to take over. There is a certain part of my life that can actually rip me apart with the point where I can understand how some people can hate the holiday season.

I think I have finally learned how to make sense of the guilt I was/am used to feeling around them. It is now time to put away the past and stay front and center, no longer looking in the rear view mirror and thinking of all the what ifs and instead focusing on the why nots.

Christmas was difficult when our family was going through the divorce and two different households, now with one house, we are starting our own new traditions that will hopefully take us through our next steps of generation-building as a family. While we always take time to reflect on our year and accomplishments, we have not really sat and planned the next year together. This will be a first for us. We are also hosting a Christmas Eve dinner with friends ...ours and our boys friends.

This will be our nuclear family time. Starting out on our own...and finding our way together.

(Thank you for indulging me in a not so traditional leadership post....but then again, as a leader in my family, this must be said takes time to grow and learn.  I thank the shining stars for them everyday!)

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